
Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/2321714.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      Underage
  Category:
      M/M
  Fandom:
      One_Direction_(Band)
  Relationship:
      Harry_Styles/Louis_Tomlinson, Zayn_Malik/Liam_Payne
  Additional Tags:
      Alpha/Beta/Omega_Dynamics, Omega_Louis, Alpha_Zayn, Beta_Liam, Beta
      Niall, Zayn_fucks_Louis_but_only_platonically, only_cause_he's_in_heat
      and_needs_it, Harry_is_jealous_but_mostly_just_wants_Louis_happy, Liam_is
      unfailingly_supportive, niall_laughs_a_lot, happy_larry_ending_I_swear,
      PLEASE_READ_THE_BEGINNING_NOTES_FOR_DETAILS_ABOUT_THIS_VERSE
  Stats:
      Published: 2014-09-18 Words: 14518
****** Things I Want, Things I Need ******
by iwillpaintasongforlou
Summary
     Most people don't find out whether they're an alpha, beta, or omega
     until somewhere around their eighteenth year, which means Louis finds
     out he's an omega long before his best friend and sometimes lover
     Harry will get a clue. Zayn is the loyal alpha friend who takes care
     of Louis during his heats. Liam is Zayn's beta mate, Niall tries to
     keep the peace, and Harry just wants to know what he is already.
Notes
     Soooo I know that the rules of omegaverse vary a lot from fic to fic,
     so to spare you all confusion, have some quick notes about MY
     omegaverse:
     1. Everyone exists in a beta state until sometime around their 18th
     birthday. Then they either increase their beta hormones or start
     developing alpha or omega ones, and they're settled into that role
     for the rest of their lives.
     2. Bonding/mating happens via BITE, not knot. Knotting without a bite
     has no effect on either party.
     3. Pregnancy can happen in male omegas via knot, but can be prevented
     via birth control.
     4. Hormones can be suppressed so that the scent of an omega is less
     obvious (for their protection) but heats cannot be prevented.
     That being said... enjoy! xoxo
See the end of the work for more notes
Harry probably should have predicted that Louis would turn out to be an omega.
 Everyone else is completely floored; he’s already 19 before he finds out, and
at that point everyone figures that he’ll just stay beta forever. Being that
late to bloom isn’t unheard of, except that it kind of was. Almost everyone
found out around their eighteenth birthday give or take six months, so when
Louis is 19 and a month, they figure this was pretty much how it’s going to be.
 And if they are still holding onto the belief that Louis might be anything
other than beta, they unanimously agree it would be alpha. Louis, who is loud
and pushy and obnoxious and the center of attention every time he enters a room
because he  demands  to be the center of attention. Louis, who everyone looks
up to because he’s this bundle of energy and light that can’t be conquered.
 But Harry knows better- he knows  Louis  better. He sees that Louis is so
constantly insistent on having the attention and affection of everyone in the
room not because he feels that he deserves it, but because he needs it. He
isn’t a focal point because others feel the need to follow him for his
strength, but because he’s open and warm and draws people in like magnets.
 It’s simple, really, looking back. Of course Louis is an omega. He always has
been, if you really thought about it.
 Zayn is the first one to catch on. He was early to come into his status, only
about seventeen and a half when he found out he was an alpha, but not nearly as
early a Liam, who was barely seventeen and two months when his beta hormones
strengthened and he was sure that he was to stay beta forever. The two of them
were mated almost immediately, to exactly  no one’s  surprise.
 But Zayn’s bond with Liam doesn’t stop him from getting very serious and
intense one day when they’re all gathered at Niall’s place for pizza and mario
kart and he walks in with Liam under his arm and comes to a dead halt. “What
the hell is that smell?”
 Louis throws him a disparaging look. “It’s sausage and mushroom and if you’re
going to be a twat about it you don’t have to eat it.”
 It takes a long moment of Liam tugging on Zayn’s arm to get him to ignore the
niggling sensation in the back of his mind and actually sit on the couch like a
normal person. “‘s not the pizza,” he mumbles as he goes, instinctively making
a plate for both him and Liam. “Something’s different. It’s- something’s
different.”
 Someone might have replied, but Niall uses his car to push Louis’ off the
track, a wrestling match ensues, and the strange new scent is lost in the smell
of sweat and adrenaline.
 Niall and Liam and Harry are largely oblivious to the change in scent. Liam’s
beta nose is less powerful by far than Zayn’s alpha one. Niall’s seventeen and
a half and seems very sure that when his ABO hormones kick in he’ll still be a
beta, and he’s too busy with school and sports and his budding social life to
sniff Louis anyways. At just shy of seventeen, Harry would never have noticed
if it weren’t for the fact that he and Louis spend so much time very up close
and very personal.
 They’re currently shirtless in Harry’s bed, Louis tenting his jeans and
sticking his hand down Harry’s shorts to tease at his cock. Harry moans and
clenches his hands in the sheets where he’s on his hands and knees above Louis,
and Louis doesn’t let up. “Shit, Lou, I’m not gonna last if you keep doing-
fuck!- that,” he pants, dropping his head to rest in the crook of Louis’ neck.
 “I understand that you don’t have my kind of stamina, since I’m three years
older and you’re still so young,” Louis says primly and lets his hand trail
down to fondle Harry’s balls.
 “Every year you spend all of January capitalizing on this age gap thing,”
Harry mumbles, and by now he should be used to it since they’ve been friends
since they were in diapers. It stings a little more though, now that they’re
not  just  friends, but rather this weird friends-who-like-to-have-sex-a-lot
thing. “You’ve weren’t complaining about my stamina when I fucked you three
times in the same day just last week.”
 “Yeah over the course of a whole twenty-four hours. Hardly impressive.”
 Harry’s just about to point out how in one of those rounds he made Louis come
twice,  but he’s distracted for a moment by the scent emanating from Louis’
throat, now that he’s got his face buried there. There are the usual smells of
Louis, obviously, but it’s a little… sweeter? Like he’s been gorging on nothing
but fruit for a week. He wonders what other parts of Louis might taste
especially sweet today and bats the hand out of his shorts so he can yank the
jeans off of Louis and get his mouth where it belongs.
 Louis himself is the last to know, somehow. Maybe it’s because he’s around
himself all day every day that he doesn’t notice the little changes. All he
notices is that about a week after Zayn first mentions a strange scent and a
few days after Harry tells him his skin tastes like sweet cream, he finds
himself really… horny.
 Which is fine, because he’s got Harry and the boy is still at that glorious
age of sixteen where he’s ready to go at a moments notice and always,  always
willing to come over to Louis’ place and get him off. But this is different.
It’s less like a low thrum of arousal and more like a physical ache, like if
Louis doesn’t get off  now  he’s going to lose his shit. By the third day of it
he thinks he actually  might,  because Harry’s only just left his flat to go
work his shift at the bakery and already he’s needy again, teeth clenched and
nails scrabbling at his skin and hot all over. All he can think about is having
Harry back inside him right this very second.
 Which is  ridiculous,  because Harry’s working and Louis is a grown man who
can get his shit together. He figures if he can just distract himself, he’ll
calm down and everything will be fine. It’s literally that simple. He pulls on
the clothes he discarded the moment Harry appeared at his door and finds his
phone so he can ring Zayn’s cell.
 “Hello?”
 “Hey mate, what’s up?”
 “Nothing much, just hanging out with Li. Bourne trilogy marathon is on so
we’re making fun of the fight choreography together. In between the cable
flickering out, anyways.”
 “Come over to my place and watch,” Louis offers at once, already tidying up
some of the mess so that any potential houseguests would have a place to sit.
“My cable’s great. And I have tortilla chips, I could make nachos.”
 “Do you have cheese?”
 “Oh. No. Bring some when you come and I’ll make nachos?”
 “Is everything alright?” Zayn asks suspiciously. “You drunk or something?”
 “It’s barely three in the afternoon,” protests Louis, even though that’s a
terrible comeback because time of day has never stopped him before. “Okay,
well. I’m just a little off today. In a weird mood. Kinda don’t wanna be alone,
I guess.”
 His voice gets a little quiet there at the end, which he knows will snag Zayn
right away. They’re not technically a pack or anything, the five of them, but
they  have  been best friends since forever and that means that it’s nearly
impossible for Zayn not to try to protect all of them. He’s an alpha and it’s
in his nature to swoop in where he’s needed to take care of his own, and Louis
is pretty much a brother at this point anyways.
 “Nachos and sound cable, I’m sold,” he answers casually, in a way that lets
Louis quietly know that he’s understood even if he doesn’t tell the truth quite
out loud. “Li, babe, get your shoes. Let’s go to Louis’ for a bit, yeah?”
 The call disconnects and Louis tosses the phone on the now-cleared couch and
goes in search of one of the many sweaters he’s stolen from Harry so that it’ll
hang down to his thighs and cover his embarrassing boner.  Some  dignity must
be preserved, after all.
 A while later a knock sounds at the door and then it swings open, both Liam
and Zayn far too comfortable in Louis’ home to bother waiting for permission.
“Lou?” Zayn calls as they enter, wielding beer and cheese for the nachos. “Get
the telly on, the second movie is about to start and Liam hasn’t seen th-” He
stops dead in his tracks, eyes flying wide and mouth dropping open in shock.
“Oh, fuck.”
 “Zayn?” Liam asks, worried at once. “What’s the matter?”
 Louis, meanwhile, is frozen with his own shock. The second Zayn walked into
the room and he heard his voice his body trilled with something Louis didn’t
recognize. It was like when Zayn first became an alpha and couldn’t control
himself very well, how sometimes he’d accidentally use his alpha voice and
leave the rest of them dazed and subdued. But sort of not like that at all,
because Louis doesn’t feel subdued by Zayn’s presence, he feels… aroused.
 “Oh, fuck,” Louis echoes, because Zayn’s got an alpha nose and he can probably
smell the arousal on Louis, and not in the ‘recently had sex’ way but in the
‘actively wanting you right now’ kind of way. Which is fucking  weird  because
Zayn is a good-looking guy but Louis has never, ever wanted him that way,
before or especially after he bonded with Liam. He must actually be losing his
mind, to have Zayn walk into the room and find himself suddenly dripping wet.
 Wait. What?
 It’s impossible, Louis thinks, but sure enough when he shifts his hips a
little there’s a sliding sensation that shouldn’t be there, that shouldn’t be
coming from  inside  Louis, because the only ones who can do that are-
 “Zayn, please, what’s going on?” Liam huffs, worry all over his features.
 The alpha locks eyes with his mate and doesn’t even blink as he announces,
“Louis’ an omega. And he’s in heat.”
 “Don’t be fucking ridiculous,” Louis says at once, but it’s weak. “Of course
I’m not an omega. I’ve been holed up in this flat with Harry all weekend and he
hasn’t said a word about it.”
 “Yeah, and Harry’s sixteen and wouldn’t know an omega in heat if it walked up
and shoved its arse in his face,” Zayn says drily. “Which, knowing you two, you
probably did. Fuck, he probably  triggered  your heat.”
 Louis wants desperately to argue, but his boxers are getting uncomfortably
soggy and all he wants to do is get under Zayn and the embarrassment settles in
like a rock in his stomach. “Oh god. So that’s why I’m-? Because you’re-?”
 “I think so.” Zayn swallows hard. “It’s not our fault, it’s like, hormones and
shit.”
 It’s only then that Louis bothers to take a whiff and smells that Zayn is
aroused too, and sure enough when he looks over those black jeans are bulging
quite noticeably in the crotch. “Oh,” he says brilliantly. “Oh.”
 Liam is just standing there looking back and forth between the two of them,
confused, not quite understanding that Louis is an unmated omega in heat and
that Zayn’s bond notwithstanding he’s an alpha, and that means that their
bodies are throwing off hormones at each other that make them want to find
themselves in a bed together, preferably with Louis pinned to the mattress and
Zayn knot-deep inside of him. The thought makes Louis even wetter, and maybe
Zayn can sense that somehow because he’s gripping the kitchen counter and
jamming his eyes shut with a strangled look on his face and it’s  all Louis’
fault.
 “Fuck this shit,” Louis spits, and before he can think better of his plan he’s
stumbling to the bathroom on wobbly legs, locking the door behind him, and
getting in the shower fully dressed. He turns the water on as cold as it can go
and winces as it starts raining down on him, feeling like ice against his too-
hot skin. Maybe, he thinks, he can wash the stupid fucking hormones off of him
and he can actually behave like a normal person instead of some needy freak who
wants his totally platonic best mate to fuck him despite the presence of that
mate’s  actual  mate.
 At the very least he hopes the cool water will drown some of the desperation
rising up in him, but so far there’s no such luck. His clothes get soaked and
he starts to shiver but he still wants to climb the walls, or maybe Zayn. One
hand slips down the back of his sweats almost automatically and he hisses as he
touches his rim, slippery with his own slick and stretched wider than it should
be, even if he’s just had Harry not an hour before.
 Harry. The thought calms Louis a little, grounds him somewhat. Poor Harry,
who’s kindly been fucking him all weekend, through the start of what Louis now
understands is a heat, and then goes to work and is going to come back after
his shift to this absolute mess. Poor, darling Harry that he adores more than
anything in this world.
 Thinking about Harry doesn’t make Louis feel any less like going right back
out there and begging Zayn for his knot, but it does make him feel a little
more determined to fight it.
 “Lou? Y’alright?” Liam calls from the hallway, striving as always to maintain
balance. He gets no reply, and turns to Zayn with a sigh. “Zayn, please. What’s
going on? Louis’ in heat? What were you talking about hormones and shit?”
 Zayn starts to answer but gets distracted by a whimper from inside and is
reaching for the handle before he can process it. Locked. “Louis? Open up or
I’ll break the fucking door down,” he snaps, kicking the door in frustration.
It rattles but holds.
 “Calm the fuck down,” Liam says, shocked, grabbing a hold of Zayn’s arm. Zayn
may be his alpha, but he’s also Liam’s mate, and the tremor of uncertainty in
his voice gets Zayn’s attention quick enough. “What is going  on  with you
two?”
 “Sorry, sorry,” Zayn mumbles, closing his eyes to take a few deep breaths with
gritted teeth. He feels ridiculously on edge, his head in a thousand places.
There’s the fact that Louis is throwing off ‘fuck me’ hormones like crazy which
his alpha body is responding to, and the fact that he has a boner for his best
friend, who’s not his mate, and the fact that his mate sounds a little scared
of him, and the fact that Louis is freaking out on the other side of this door
and Zayn’s alpha instincts are going crazy with the urge to protect him. And
then of course there’s the confusion and embarrassment and anxiety rolling off
of both of the other boys that Zayn gets to process by the bucketful.
 Sometimes being an alpha fucking  sucks.
 “Louis is an omega,” he says shortly after a few more calming breaths and more
than a few sniffs of Liam’s comforting, familiar scent. It makes him feel
steadier. “He’s in heat. He’s giving off hormones to attract alphas, and his
body is- prepping. He needs an alpha’s knot.”
 “Oh. Right,” Liam says. He knows all of this from school, of course, it’s just
strange to hear it talked in real life about because omegas are so  rare  and
he’s never met one before. And it’s certainly strange to hear it said about
Louis, his best friend of approximately a million years. Puzzle pieces start
falling into place. “So that means you’re-”
 His eyes trace downward to Zayn’s zipper area, and the older boy flushes.
“It’s not- you’re still my mate, baby. My only mate. It’s just- hormone shit. I
can’t help it.”
 Liam nods slowly, face strangely blank. “So you want to fuck Louis?”
 “I’m not exactly sure how to answer that,” Zayn says uncomfortably. “My body
wants to, I guess. But I don’t- I mean I’m not  going  to, obviously, because
you’re mine.”
 But Liam doesn’t seem to be flinching at the idea. “Louis needs it though,
right? He needs an alpha? To end his heat?”
 “It helps.” Zayn shrugs. “Like, he can survive without it, it’ll just be
longer and more uncomfortable. If he’s knotted properly during his heat it’ll
only last a few days and he’ll get relief. That’s probably why he’s been
fucking Harry all weekend but still lost his shit when I walked in. Harry could
help but not- but he’s not an alpha.”
 “That makes sense, actually,” Liam replies. He moves forward and wraps his
arms around Zayn’s middle like he always does when he’s thinking very hard and
needs Zayn to keep him grounded. Zayn hugs back and waits for him to finish his
thoughts. “If I say something do you promise not to take it the wrong way?”
 “I- erm? I won’t be mad at you, baby. Never.”
 “Well, if Louis needs an alpha to take care of him, maybe… you should.”
 For all that he’s promised to keep cool, Zayn can’t help but pull back a
little to look at Liam in shock. “You want me to knot Louis?” he said, half a
growl as his surprise makes him forget to control himself. He clears his throat
and tries again. “You want me to knot him? I mean- I  could,  it’s not like we
would bond or anything because I wouldn’t be biting him, but. You think that’s
a good plan?”
 “I think it’s the best one we’ve got,” Liam shrugs. “He needs something only
you can give him. We’re practically pack at this point, so… is it really that
crazy? We take care of each other.”
 “And you’re okay with that?  You,  as my mate?” Liam shrugs, and Zayn darts
forward to nip sternly at his jaw. “Answer me, Liam.”
 “I know you love me and no one else, and I know that no matter who you knot
that’s not going to change,” Liam replies at once. “And I’d rather it be you
than someone that Louis barely knows. The longer he’s in heat the worse it’ll
get, and it’s only a matter of time before he throws himself at the first alpha
he sees or one comes barging in, and- I don’t want him to get hurt, Z. You
won’t hurt him. You’ll take care of him.”
 This is exactly the reason why Zayn’s known he wanted to bond with Liam since
they were fourteen and neither had any clue what they would turn out to be.
He’s so smart and calm and good, all the time, a perfect counterpart for Zayn’s
quiet passion and intensity. Zayn leans forward and kisses him. “I don’t know
how Louis will feel about it, but I’ll offer,” he says at last.
 “Thank you. That’s all we can do, I guess.”
 Zayn turns again to the bathroom door and knocks, rather calmly he thinks
considering that now that he isn’t focused on Liam he’s being bombarded by
Louis’ panic and hormones seeping through the crack under the door. “Louis?”
There’s something that sounds like a dry heave and a sob from inside and Zayn’s
jaw clenches. “Louis, open the door,” he orders again. Liam is looking at him
disapprovingly, but he’s determined to get Louis out of the shower before the
poor boy gets hypothermia.  “Open. The. Door.”
 He sees Liam’s knees buckle out of the corner of his eye and steadies him with
an apologetic look. It was a low move, using his alpha voice, but desperate
times call for desperate measures.
 The door swings open almost at once and Louis stands before them, buck naked
and trembling. “Fuck you,” he mumbles. “Don’t use that shit on me.”
 “Turn the water off and grab a towel,” Zayn replies in his normal voice, soft
but firm. “We need to talk. Now.”
 Maybe it’s because he’s especially vulnerable to commands in his heat, or
maybe he just sees the sense in Zayn’s words, but Louis does as he’s told and
follows Liam and Zayn back out into the living room to sit on the ragged
furniture collected there. “Sorry for- erm. I just feel. Fuck, I think I’m on
fire,” he says miserably, shuddering and digging his nails into his thighs.
 “It’s alright, bro, it’s not your fault. You’re in heat. You need an alpha’s
knot, that shit is pre-programmed,” Zayn soothes.
 “Well I shouldn’t be programmed to want my friend to fuck me just because he’s
an alpha,” Louis snaps, then whimpers. He’s thinking about it again and if he
doesn’t immediately stop he’s going to soak through the towel with slick.
 Zayn hesitates, licking his lips and glancing at Liam. “Better a friend than a
stranger though, right?”
 Louis looks up, shocked. “Not when my friend is mated to my other friend,” he
says dumbly. “What are you trying to get at?”
 “Can I be frank?”
 “You’d fucking better be.”
 That kind of sass is hard to let slide when Zayn is feeling so incredibly
alpha,  but he grits his teeth for a second and does. “Liam and I talked it
over, and we think- well, if you want, I could knot you. While you’re in heat.
To help you through it. Strictly platonic, just like a biological thing. You’ve
been on birth control since you were eighteen, and it’s not like I’m going to
try to mate you or anything, so-”
 “You can’t be serious.” Louis is dumbfounded, because he’s known Zayn forever
and he most assuredly  is  serious. He wants to be repulsed by the idea, but
instead he finds his mouth watering, his body responding to the offer because
fuck, he may not want it but he  needs  it. “And you’re okay with this, Li?” he
manages to ask.
 “You’re cute, but no matter how much he fucks you he’s still my mate,” Liam
teases coolly. “I just want you to be okay. And I trust Zayn, so.”
 It takes Louis all of three more seconds to cave, because he glances back at
Zayn and sees the alpha strength in the set of his jaw and he just  needs  so
intensely. “Please,” he finally whimpers.
 For a few tense moments, awkward silence fills the room as no one is sure
quite how to proceed. “You should go, Li,” Zayn finally says, ever the alpha.
“Call Harry, tell him what’s going on so he won’t come over.”
 Louis’ stomach plummets.  Harry.  “Don’t tell him Zayn’s gonna knot me,” he
blurts out before he can think better of it. “Please. Just tell him- tell him
Zayn’s gonna stick around and protect me from other alphas, but let him think
I’m making it on my own. I don’t- I don’t want him to know.”
 The other boys look at each other and then at Louis, full of concern. It’s a
strange request, he knows. Louis and Harry are peas in a pod, they share
everything,  but this monumental piece of information he wants to keep a
secret? “Please,” he whispers for good measure, because the idea of how crushed
Harry would be to think of someone else inside of him, even if he needed it,
just might crush him, too.
 Finally Zayn nods. “That’s your information to share, I guess. Do as he asks,
Li.”
 Liam nods, too, then hugs Zayn tightly. “How long are- when will you be home?”
 “I dunno. I’ve never- um. I dunno.”
 “Okay. Call me when you can? Please?”
 Zayn looks at Liam with absolute stars in his eyes. “Of course, baby. I love
you. I’ll come home as soon as I can.” He kisses his mate once more and sees
him out, locking the door behind him. Slowly he turns back to Louis. “So.”
 “So.”
 Neither knows what to do, so Zayn takes a deep breath and lets the alpha in
him take over. Protect Louis. Knot him. Help him. Take care of pack. Take care
of Louis.
 He takes the older boy by the hand and leads him to the bedroom, and Louis
must be truly on edge because he climbs on the bed and gets on his back without
needing any instruction. “Just don’t kiss me, please,” he whispers, sounding
very, very small.
 “Okay,” Zayn says just as quietly as he tugs at the knot on Louis’ towel.
“Okay.”
 …………………
 Louis probably shouldn’t be surprised that less than an hour after he sends
out his first ever “heat’s done xx” mass text message to the lads, there’s a
knock on the door and Harry comes barging in. He’s got wild, concerned eyes
that rake across the room in record time until they find Louis flopped on the
couch, and before Louis can peek through his lashes and investigate the
intrusion on his nap, Harry is kneeling by the sofa and looking at him
earnestly.
 “You okay, Lou?” he asks worriedly, like this is Louis’ deathbed or something.
The way he grips Louis’ hand makes it feel that way, at least.
 “Yeah, dork, I’m just tired,” he says with a yawn that backs up his story.
“And sore. Jesus.”
 “I can’t believe you had your first heat and I couldn’t be here to help,”
Harry groans, dropping his head so that his curls spill across the cotton shirt
covering Louis’ chest. “Three whole days, and I wasn’t here for you. Liam said
you didn’t want anyone here except Zayn, though.”
 Wanted you,    Louis thinks. “It was kind of embarrassing,” he says. “Turned
into a total fucking slut. Haven’t had my bum empty for more than four hours
since you left on Monday.”
 Harry pauses. “That sounds like a nice week, kind of,” he mumbles into Louis’
shirt.
 Louis sighs deeply, which makes Harry’s head jostle and dislodged a few curls,
so he smooths them back into place with his fingers and keeps playing with the
locks aimlessly. “Give me a few days to recover and I’ll let you fuck me to
your heart’s content,” is all he can reply.
 Green eyes appear as Harry turns his head to the other side, looking up at
Louis. “How did you even make it through your heat alone? I mean I know you had
Zayn around to make sure no one tried to get at you, but.”
 Guilt starts building up in Louis’ gut and he steadfastly ignores it. “I own a
lot of sex toys,” he says, which is not a lie. “I kept pretty busy,” he adds,
which is not untruthful either. “Let’s just say Zayn heard a lot of things I
could have lived without him hearing.”
 The truth behind that is how many moans and whimpers and desperate cries Louis
let go over the past three days as he begged Zayn to fuck him over and over
again, but naturally Harry knows nothing of that so he giggles at the words.
“You’re super loud when you come,” he comments, like Louis doesn’t know that.
 “Don’t even say that word to me for like a year,” Louis groans by way of
changing the subject. “I came so much this week, Jesus fuck.”
 Harry tenses a little, then lifts his head and presses a kiss to the little
bit of skin peeking out between the bottom of Louis’ shirt and the top of his
sweats. “You’re always so gorgeous when you come, too,” he murmurs.
 Louis’ heart skips a beat at the new, heavier tone of the conversation, but
his body is still slow and tired and aching all over. “Hazza, I can’t,” he says
weakly. “I’m sorry, I just- I can’t. Give me a day- give me like twelve hours
to sleep, or something, I just-”
 “No, no, I know,” Harry says quickly. “Jesus. No, I wasn’t asking. I don’t- I
wasn’t asking. I just missed you is all.”
 He’s so earnest in the way he nuzzles back into Louis that the older boy goes
back to playing with his hair without another thought. “Missed you too, babe.”
 “Do you need anything?” Harry asks, his worry starting to come back. “Water?
Medicine? Something to eat?”
 “Zayn says I need to be on hormone suppressants now that I’m an omega,” Louis
answers, and the words still sound strange to his own ears. “Else alphas will
be all over me all the time. Niall’s bringing those over later though. Mostly I
just need a nap.”
 “Right, of course,” Harry agrees at once. “Should I go, or-?”
 “Stay,” Louis can’t reply quick enough. “Please. Just like this. I miss you.”
 Harry purrs quietly and shifts so that he’s on his butt instead of his knees,
then returns to leaning his head on Louis’ side. “I’ll stay as long as you need
me to, Lou,” he promises. “I’ve got you.”
 …………………
 They make it two more heats before Harry catches on.
 He’s incredibly naive about the whole thing at first, only once remarking how
short Louis’ heats are. “That’s good though, that you don’t have to suffer that
long even though you don’t have an alpha,” he says innocently. “I heard they
can last like a week without.”
 “Short heats are better than long ones, I’d guess,” Louis says nervously,
because it isn’t a lie but it’s not a truth either, and then goes about
demanding that someone make him tea to rejuvenate his poor body.
 It’s Liam that fucks it all up, though, because when Zayn and Louis are locked
away once a month for Louis’ heat, he and Harry are left mostly to hang out
with each other during all of the copious free time they usually spend with the
occupied pair. He’s in his kitchen now grabbing a beer, probably his seventh or
eighth of the night. Harry’s curled up on his couch munching a clementine.
 “I can’t wait until this fucking heat is done with,” Liam slurs, chugging half
the drink in one go.
 “You miss Z, don’t you?”
 Liam nods. “And even when he comes back he’s not himself straight away. He’s
so… alpha-y. Probably because he’s been popping ten knots a day inside Louis.
Hormones flowing and shit.” He doesn’t notice Harry is staring at him
dumbfoundedly until he looks up a long moment of silence later. “What?”
 “Zayn is knotting Louis?” Harry asks weakly, eyes strangely damp. “But you and
Zayn are- but Louis- what?”
 “Oh shit.” Liam drops his beer onto a coaster and covers his face with his
hands. “Oh fuck. You weren’t supposed to know. Louis asked us not to say
anything, because it’s not a big deal, like they’re not romantic or anything,
it’s just knotting so Louis won’t have to suffer-”
 “Just    knotting?” Harry gasps, standing and grabbing his jacket from the
back of the couch. “I- I have to go.”
 “Harry, wait!”
 But Harry’s already gone, out the door and down the stairs and into his car in
record time. The road to Louis’ flat is a short one, and Harry takes it
quickly. The door to it is locked, but Harry has a key. He swings the door wide
and it doesn’t take an alpha’s senses to know what’s going on in the back
bedroom. He can smell the sex from here, can hear the petrifying sound of skin
slapping skin.
 “Please, please Zayn, I can come again, please,” Louis begs as Harry gets
closer to the bedroom door.
 “Just a second, Lou, I’m about to knot. I’ll get you after I knot, I promise,
that’s what you need,” Zayn murmurs, and then breaks out in a moan.
 That’s when Harry decides to push open the door, right as Zayn is swelling up
inside of Louis and Louis trembles on his hands and knees, a puddle of cum and
slick beneath him but still hard and ready for another go. It takes them both a
second to notice Harry’s presence. Zayn blinks his eyes open, flicks them over
to Harry, then shuts them again. “Shit.”
 Louis, on the other hand, reaches for him at once. “Harry, Harry, please, come
here,” he begged, voice needier and  hungrier  than Harry’s ever heard it. It
almost sounds like he’s asking to be rescued, until he continues, “Come here so
I can suck you off, please, I need your cock.”
 His eyes are so glazed, so not himself, that Harry can only shake his head at
Louis. “I’ll, um, I’ll wait out here,” he mumbles, shuts the door behind him,
and takes his seat on Louis’ couch feeling absolutely miserable.
 Zayn must make Louis come one more time, because there’s a whimper and a shout
and then ten minutes of silence. Harry assumes they’re waiting for Zayn’s knot
to deflate, and throws up a little in his mouth at the thought. Eventually,
though, Zayn does emerge , dressed in his jeans and a vest and looking
incredibly sheepish. “Harry, mate, don’t be mad, okay?” he says at once. “It’s
nothing personal.”
 “He lied to me for two months, that’s pretty personal,” Harry says blankly.
“Can you give us some time to talk?”
 “Yeah, sure,” answers Zayn after only a tiny hesitation. “I’ll be downstairs
having a smoke. He should be fine for a while, but. Call if he needs me, yeah?
If you need me.”
 Harry doesn’t go back to the bedroom even after he leaves, just waits for
Louis to come to him. He isn’t sure he has the emotional fortitude for what he
might see if he just barges in. After a minute or two Louis exits the bedroom,
in sweats and a t-shirt, looking tired but sated. He sits on the opposite end
of the couch from Harry and rests his head on the back cushion. “I’m sorry,” he
says simply.
 “For fucking Zayn or for lying about fucking Zayn?”
 His words are too harsh, he knows it even before Louis flinches like he’s been
slapped. He can tell it hurts
bad,
  though, because Louis is actually venomous in his reply. “Well I’m not sorry
about fucking Zayn, since it feels like having my skin burned off if I don’t,”
he snaps. “But yeah, I’m sorry that I didn’t tell you.”
 Harry’s properly chastised but doesn’t let it show. “Why didn’t you?”
 “Thought it would be easier.” Louis shrugs. “I didn’t want you to get hurt,
knowing that we were- that I was with someone else.”
 It takes a moment for Harry to take deep breaths and remind himself to be
mature, because he’s actually got this ugly, jealous feeling deep in his gut
and he wants to pitch a fit and put an end to all of this. He has to be
rational though, for Louis. “It’s just because you need an alpha, right? It’s
just because you need a knot? Not because you want him?”
 That must not have been the question Louis expected to be asked, because his
eyes go wide. “Of course it’s just about the knot. He’s  mated  with  Liam,
Harry. He only even offered because Liam suggested it.”
 “Yeah, but do  you  want it?” Harry presses relentlessly, grabbing ahold of
Louis’ ankle. “Do you want him to be fucking you?”
 Louis trembles a little, like maybe he’s too fragile right now to be pushed
that far, but he pushes right back. “Don’t be fucking stupid. I only ever want
you.”
 It’s too heartwarming to hear, so Harry rolls his eyes. “Well obviously you
want him, too, because you’re having him.”
 “No, Harry, get it through your skull.  I don’t want him.  All I  want  is
you. But I  need  him.” Louis’ pleading now, shifting forward and crawling
until he’s straddling Harry’s lap, facing him. “Do you get that? Do you
understand what I’m saying? Because I need him, I have to have him so I can
fucking  breathe,  but he isn’t what I want. I want you.”
 He cups Harry’s face in his hands and kisses him, lips and palms feverishly
hot on Harry’s skin. It’s intoxicating. Harry pulls back a bit. “This shouldn’t
matter to me,” he mumbles. “We’re not even together.”
 “Yeah, well, we’re something,” Louis replies easily before slotting their
mouths back together.
 So this is Louis in heat,    Harry thinks as he sits back and lets Louis kiss
him properly. He’s got burning hot skin and he reeks of sex, his body somehow
heavy and tired but still full of a fevered kind of energy. The kisses start
out comforting and familiar, but after a minute Louis sort of shivers and the
press of their lips takes a turn for the desperate. Suddenly Louis is hard and
pressing his cock into Harry’s stomach, grinding, begging with his body.
 Harry freezes, unsure, so Louis begs with his mouth instead. “Harry,” he
moans, “harryharryharry please, I need you, please help me. Please touch me,”
he whimpers. “Need you.”
 “I- I’m not sure if-”  I’m not sure if I’m supposed to,  Harry doesn’t know
how to say.
 “Please Harry I promise I’ll be good for you, please, please fuck me,” Louis
begins like Harry hadn’t said a word, the motion of his hips getting more
intentional, like he’s so desperate for release he’s willing to do it by
rubbing off on Harry’s torso, clinging to his jacket and almost crying with
sudden want. He sounds broken. “Harry, I need- I feel like I’m  burning,
Harry, it hurts-”
 Zayn barges in just as Louis is whimpering and trying to forcibly wrap Harry’s
hand around his cock. “Fuck,” he says, though there’s a little smirk playing on
his lips. “Does this mean you guys have made up?”
 “I thought you said he’d be good for a while,” Harry half-wails.
 “I’ve been an alpha for like seven months, I’m still learning,” Zayn huffs.
“He’s usually satisfied for longer than that, but you probably set him off
sooner.”
 “What am I supposed to do?” Harry presses as Louis reached back and started
fingering himself from behind right there on Louis’ lap. “Do I give him what he
wants?”
 Zayn shrugs helplessly. “I mean, if he wants you and you want him then you can
fuck him, and it’ll help, but…” He trails off, apologetic. “It’s just not going
to be what he needs in the end, you know? He’ll just want more than you can
give.” There’s a deep sadness on his face, like he’d give anything to be able
to not say it.
 He’s right though, and Harry knows it, so he kisses Louis’ neck and lets him
rub out an orgasm against him, but then shakes his head when Louis immediately
begs to have Harry inside of him. “No, baby, I can’t,” he says sadly. “I can’t
do that for you right now. Let Zayn, yeah?”
 The alpha comes over like he’s been summoned and tries to take Louis’ arm, to
guide him off of Harry, but Louis just wails. “No, Harry, please, I want  you,
please, pleasepleaseplease I’ll be good for you-” He breaks off suddenly and
looks at Zayn like he’s just now noticed he’s there, which maybe he has. His
hands don’t let go of Harry, exactly, but they loosen, enough that when Zayn
tugs on his arm he goes with just a soft  shit  and a look of dazed dismay.
 Harry ponders the incident as he leaves the flat quickly so he won’t have to
hear Louis making noises that aren’t caused by him. It’s like he can see the
struggle inside of Louis, like it’s a tangible thing. His head wants Harry but
his body needs Zayn. And it kills Harry, literally makes his insides curl to
think that he can’t be what Louis wants  and  what he needs, but in the end
what’s most important is that Louis is okay. If that involves getting fucked by
their mutual friend, Harry’s just going to have to grow a pair and get okay
with that.
 Besides, there’s really nothing to get jealous over. They’re not even
together.
 This time when the heat is over, he doesn’t find out via text like the others.
It’s when Louis crawls into his bed, fresh from the shower and limbs trembling
from the exertion of a three-block journey. He curls up into Harry’s side,
still smelling a bit like Zayn and sex but mostly like Louis and that new,
sweet omega smell.
 “Missed you,” Harry tells him. Louis snores in response, and that’s okay with
him.
 …………………
 It gets a little easier, now that Harry knows. There’s no longer this
enormous, awkward secret hanging over the five of them- even Niall knew, the
little shit- and with every passing heat Harry gets better at biting back his
jealousy and just simply appreciating the fact that there’s someone willing and
able to take care of the boy he cares so deeply about.
 He tries his best to do what he can, though, learning as the months drag on
exactly how to take care of him at any time except for during heat. He learns
that right after, Louis needs fluids and quiet, and someone to force him to
stay in bed so he can properly rest. He learns that right before, Louis gets
achy and hot and clingy and just needs someone to pay attention to him.
 Which is what he’s doing right now. Louis is due to start in a few days and
he’s already miserable, laid out on Harry’s bed in just his boxers because
“It’s fifty thousand degrees in here, Harry, Jesus.”
 (Harry checked the thermostat. It’s on twenty.)
 “My back hurts,” Louis pouts into the pillow he’s planted his face in, and
immediately Harry reaches over to rub at it. He knows by now that it’s nothing
that a massage can really cure, not like a sore muscle, but rather that Louis
just starts to hurt all over when he’s getting close and needs firm touches to
make him feel better. It’s like if he can’t have release then he needs
pressure, and that, at least, Harry can give him.
 He runs his hand all over Louis’ back, up and down, in what he hopes is a
sympathetic and comforting manner. It works for a minute, making Louis hum in
delight and relax a little at the touch, until suddenly the hum turns into a
moan and Louis’ hips twitch forward into the mattress. “Yes, Harry, please
touch me,” he croaks. “Harder, please, I need you.”
 Harry’s eyes shut in dismay but he doesn’t stop rubbing, because at least this
seems to be satisfying Louis for now. It won’t for long, he knows that much-
this all too familiar scene happens more months than not, with Harry
accidentally triggering Louis’ heat. He texts Zayn as quietly as he can, hoping
that he can distract Louis with the back rub long enough for the alpha to get
here before he starts begging so hard he cries for something Harry can’t
provide.
 Zayn learns to be on call pretty much whenever, because there’s honestly no
telling when Louis’ heat will get triggered at this point. Once it happens an
entire  week  before it’s supposed to. Louis hasn’t even started showing signs
that it’s about to start, so when Harry finds himself rock hard over watching
Louis lick whipped cream off of his fingers when they’re eating dessert, he
figures there’s no harm in seducing Louis back into the bedroom.
 It’s an excellent plan, actually, because Louis has a mouth like a dream and
right now it’s on Harry’s cock, albeit teasingly. Harry works a fist into
Louis’ hair and pushes him down a little, inquisitively, asking but not
demanding that Louis take him deeper. Louis does, gladly, and Harry hisses.
“Yes, Louis, fuck, just like that.”
 The flick that Louis delivers to the base of Harry’s cock is probably just him
being a little shit rather than as a response to anything Harry’s done, but
either way it makes Harry’s hips twitch as he flinches, forcing his cock
further back into Louis’ throat. “Sorry, sorry,” he rushes to apologize as soon
as he realizes.
 But he needn't have, because instead of pulling off to complain for a bit- or
worse, refusing to finish what he’d started- Louis moans and sinks down deeper,
swallowing around the tip and clawing and Harry’s thighs in pleasure.
 Usually it’s the sudden barrage of pleading and begging to be fucked that
alerts Harry to the fact that he’s triggered Louis’ heat  again,  but since
Louis’ mouth is currently occupied it’s all up to hormones this time. Either
his sense of smell or his sense of Louis is getting more acute by the day,
because now all it takes is one whiff and Harry can tell that Louis has entered
his heat just like that. Sometimes it’s gradual, sometimes it’s a flick of a
switch, but every time it proceeds much the same.
 “Slower, baby,” Harry says, trying to sound authoritative. “Close your eyes
and concentrate. Tease me. Make me work for it.”
 In reality all that Harry wants is for Louis to take him deep like that again,
so suck him dry enthusiastically with a mouth that’s getting hotter by the
second. But what he  has  to do is try to stall until Zayn gets his text and
shows up to take him home, so he lays back and whimpers at the focused tease
he’s getting by the boy between his thighs and prays both that it ends soon and
that it never does.
 He hears the front door open and close and strokes Louis’ cheek in relief.
“Can you finish me off?” he asks. “Can you make me come in your mouth like a
good boy?” Louis picks up the pace at once, like he was born for this, and
Harry already feels his orgasm approaching with intent now that Louis has made
that his goal. Zayn enters the bedroom with a raised eyebrow but Harry holds up
a hand to stop him from speaking. “Give him a minute,” he pants, because Zayn
took a  long  fucking time to get here and he deserves it at this point. “Well
don’t watch,” he whines when Zayn just stands there.
 Zayn rolls his eyes but then shields them with his hand, and then Louis is
swallowing around Harry’s cock and Harry’s thrusting up into into it and coming
as Louis pulls off a bit and swallows every drop. Harry goes limp with release
but Louis keeps bobbing like he’s ready to taste Harry come again, which he
probably is, but Zayn walks over and taps his cheek. “Pull off, babe, he’s
done.” Louis ignores him. “Alright, but remember you made me do this.” Zayn
reaches down and pinches Louis’ nose so that after a moment the boy has to pull
off in order to breathe, and before he can dive right back in he’s hoisted up
by the armpits. “You’ve started your heat, Louis, we need to go.”
 The situation sinks into Louis’ heat-addled brain and he starts to whimper.
“But I want Harry,” he says, the way he always does, reaching out for the man
on the bed. “I want him inside of me, I need- I  need  him inside of me-”
 With great effort Harry manages to sit up and lean forward to kiss Louis’
greedy mouth. “Go with Zayn,” he says, not unkindly. “Let him knot you. That’s
what you need, baby. Go with Zayn.”
 “Harry, no, I-”
 “Inhale, Louis.”
 Louis obeys, and just like every month, as soon as he gets a proper sniff of
Zayn he gets just conflicted and pliant enough that he can be pried from
Harry’s body to go with someone who can actually take care of him. Luckily
Harry’s always been prone to napping after orgasms, because that means he can
fall asleep soon after Louis is led away and not think about where he’s being
led to all that much.
 Sometimes it’s not even all that major, what Harry does. Sometimes it’s just
the sight of him that sets Louis off, like the time that he goes over to Zayn’s
house for breakfast with all the lads, and Louis’ just starting to complain
about feeling his heat coming on. That time, all Harry did was peel a banana
and start to chow down.
 There’s a clatter of silverware as Louis bangs his fist on the table and then
he’s shouting, “God damn it, Harry, you’re such a fucking  tease!”  and
launching himself across the breakfast table at the younger boy.
 Luckily Niall has recently come into his full beta status and is feeling quite
strong with his hormone rush, so he’s there and intercepting Louis mid-leap
before Harry can even react. “You need to calm down, mate,” he laughs as Louis
struggles in his arms. “Harry’s gonna choke and it’s going to be your fault.”
 The idea slows Louis long enough for Zayn to grab him around the waist and
start dragging him away, but then he realizes what’s happening and starts
struggling insistently, kicking and clawing and trying desperately to get to
Harry. Finally Zayn has to bark,  “Enough!”  in his booming alpha voice to make
Louis stop struggling and look at him. The other three instinctively bow their
heads, and by the time they look up Zayn and Louis have disappeared into a back
bedroom.
 “We should probably leave,” Niall says thoughtfully. “They’ll probably be
loud.”
 Harry finally bites off a piece of the banana that’s been shoved into his
mouth the whole time and chews it quickly so he can help pack up and get them
all out of here before the heartbreaking noises start up.
 They almost make it out in time. Harry slams the door very loudly behind him.
 …………………
 It’s been fourteen months since Louis discovered he’s an omega, and the five
of them have fallen into a funny sort of rhythm. Zayn knows just when to show
up to cart Louis off. Liam makes peace with missing his mate for three days a
month. Niall, with all of his betalike love for equilibrium and endearing
friendliness, makes it his mission to stay with Harry when Louis’ in heat and
attempt to distract him with videogames and movies.
 Louis spends his three days every month in a haze of need, begging for his
friend to fuck him harder, and pretends like he isn’t thinking about Harry most
of the time.
 Harry spends his three days of the month slamming doors and growling at people
and pretends like he doesn’t want to rip Zayn’s face off just a very little
bit.
 Meanwhile, with every month closer to eighteen Harry gets, his nerves get
wound a little tighter. He starts going for walks to clear his head of the
nervousness, then runs, then trips to the gym, then trips to the boxing ring as
the worry turns to anxiety turns into pent up aggression.  The others notice
but largely refrain from commenting, until a month has passed since his
eighteenth birthday and Harry finally,  finally  confesses what’s been eating
away at him all this time.
 “I just want to fucking know what I am,” he huffs, pinching the bridge of his
nose to stave off the stress headache hovering on the edges of his awareness.
He’s on Niall’s couch with Louis slumped in his lap, mostly asleep in that
heavy, fucked-out state he always gets post-heat. Zayn’s across the room
looking pretty exhausted himself but still trailing gentle fingers up and down
Liam’s arm in a silent,  I’m here and I love you.
 Harry bats a wad of paper out of the air before he’s even consciously aware
that Niall, who’s sitting on the floor near the telly, has launched it at
Louis. “Fuck off,” he says fiercely. “Let him sleep, he needs his rest.”
 “‘m fine,” Louis mumbles before Harry shushes him.
 Liam is the only one listening with full attention, but he jumps right in to
offer comfort. “You’re barely eighteen, you have nothing to worry about,” he
says reasonably. “Look at Louis, he was an old maid before he turned. Now he’s
still an old maid, but at least he knows.”
 “Fuck off,” Harry and Louis say in unison.
 Louis nuzzles into his neck a little more though. “Liam’s right. You shouldn’t
be worried. You’re a month late, so what? It’ll come soon, love.”
 And it’s not that Harry doesn’t  know  that they’re right. Eighteen and a
month is nothing, really. It’s just that within their little makeshift pack
Harry sees a little of everything -alpha, beta, omega, mated, unmated- and he
can see how different their lives have become because of it. No matter what he
is, he needs to know, because it could spin his life in a hundred different
ways and he needs to be  prepared  for that. He just does.
 But for now he just hushes Louis again and tells him to take a nap to regain
his strength, and makes sure Niall keeps the volume low on the telly when he
decides he wants to watch footie. They can’t really hear the announcers, but
Louis sleeps right through it with his head tucked into Harry’s neck and that’s
the important thing, really.
 …………………
 Harry is almost positive he’s losing his mind.
 He’s been itchy for days now, like he hasn’t been since he was fourteen and he
shot up like a weed. This is a similar sort of sensation, like his whole body
is getting stretched out far too fast. Beyond that, though, his insides felt
all wrong, like someone had replaced his blood with frizzy drink without
telling him.
 The mood swings are the worst, though. A little crankiness is to be expected;
Louis’ due to go into heat in about a week, which means Harry’s starting to
pout about the idea of him being fucked into the mattress by Zayn. But this is
different. One moment he’s fine, but then the next second he’s spitting mad
because the jerk waiter at the restaurant he and Louis go to wrinkles his nose
at Louis’ scent. Harry actually wanted to punch the guy, and he’s never punched
anyone in his life.  Ever.
 Louis notices, of course. “You need to calm the fuck down,” he says cattily
after Harry spikes his controller at the carpet after a lost game of Call of
Duty. “You’re so on edge. Are you okay? Do you need a blow job?”
 It’s so typically  Louis,  and Harry smiles slightly despite the burn of
irritation in his gut still lingering from the game. “What’s that motto of
yours? Nothing some head can’t fix?”
 “You’ve certainly never said no to a blowie before. Change is for the weak, so
you probably shouldn’t break your record now,” teases the boy, setting down his
own controller to scoot closer to Harry. “Might get some of that tension out of
you.”
 As soon as he hears it, Harry notices that he is, in fact, tense from head to
toe. He makes a conscious effort to relax and thinks that he might even succeed
somewhat. “What if you’re the one making me tense?”
 “Then it’s doubly my job to help.”
 Louis nuzzles into Harry’s shoulder, throat bared, and the scent of him
wafting up to Harry’s nose is  not  helping him at all. Tonight he’s wound the
tightest he’s been all week, and the majority of it is because of the way Louis
smells. It’s not a  bad  smell, necessarily- mostly he still smells like Louis
and omega, but tonight it’s particularly potent and it makes Harry feel like
he’s going to rip his hair out or dismantle a brick wall with his hands.
 He takes care to be gentle, though, as he touches Louis, who’s climbing off of
the couch to kneel before Harry. “Wait, wait,” he says wearily, hands wrapping
around Louis’ biceps. “I’m not- I’m not really in the mood.”
 “I can smell the arousal on you, you know that, right?”
 I’m always aroused when you’re in the room, so that doesn’t count.    “I don’t
feel like myself tonight. I feel off.”
 “I know you do, Hazza,” Louis answers softly, tugging his arms free of Harry’s
gentle grip and moving to unfasten his jeans. “That’s why I want to take care
of you.”
 Knuckles brush lightly over the fabric concealing Harry’s cock and he shivers
a bit at the touch, but continues to shake his head. “Not tonight. Maybe
tomorrow. I’m probably just tired or something, I’ll feel better soon.”
 “Yeah, and soon I’m going to be locked in my apartment with Zayn and I won’t
be able to see you. I won’t be able to touch you, or taste you.” Louis takes
advantage of the hesitant silence that follows and leans forward, mouthing at
Harry’s cock through his boxers. “I miss you when I’m gone, Hazza. Please?”
 It feels good,  really  good, and Harry’s so close to giving in that he has to
grit his teeth with irritation at himself because this is  not  what he came
here for. “Another time, Louis.”
 “You don’t have to do anything, let me. Let me give to you, before I get all
needy and have to just take.”
 “Louis, no.”
 “Please, can’t I just-”
 “Stop.”
 It’s Harry who barks the command, sure enough, because Louis is being stubborn
and pushy and Harry feels like he’s about to molt out of his skin and he needs
for Louis to shut up for like ten seconds so he can remember how to breathe.
It’s Harry that says it, but the problem is that the voice that booms in the
small flat isn’t Harry’s.
 It’s the voice of an alpha.
 Everything clicks in the fifteen seconds of stunned silence that follow. The
ache in his body. The aggression. The wanting to punch people who were rude to
Louis. And even before that, if he’s honest; for months he’s been craving the
gym relentlessly, like his body had an actual need for more strength that he
couldn’t resist. The sudden heightening of his senses. The way he’s gotten so
good at protecting and nurturing, especially Louis, no matter what.
 Louis says it before Harry gets the chance to. “You’re an alpha,” he whispers
in awe, still frozen in position on his knees before Harry. He shudders a
little and suddenly there’s a whole new wave of even stronger scent billowing
off of him and filling the room like smoke. The consistency of the air itself
seems to change, instantly thick and heady and full of the message that if
Harry doesn’t touch Louis  now,  he’s going to run out of oxygen and die right
then and there.
 He doesn’t remember making the conscious decision to get off the couch and
tackle Louis to the carpet, but when he pulls his mouth off of Louis’ he finds
that they’re on the floor with him on top of Louis, pinning his wrists above
his head. “Did you just start your heat? Is that what- oh my  god,”  he moans,
no longer able to keep his mouth off of Louis’ skin.
 “You’re an alpha,” Louis repeats weakly in answer. “You’re a fucking alpha.”
 Yes, he most certainly is, and Louis is an omega in heat and in some back
corner of his mind Harry thinks that he should probably be trying to get
control of himself but really he’s just focused on getting Louis’ clothes off.
Suddenly he understands why omegas in heat have to be shut away, why they have
to be protected by bonded alphas, because if every alpha around an omega in
heat feels half as uncontrollable as Harry does now-
 It’s that, the thought of Louis being in danger of having someone force
themselves upon him, that makes Harry capable of prying his mouth an entire
inch off of Louis’ collarbones and asking, “Do you want me to stop? I can call
Zayn to take care of you, and I’ll- I can leave, if you want me to-”
 “No, no, no, no, no,” Louis gasps, panicked, and starts trying to pull his
wrists free so he can wrap them around Harry and keep him there. He isn’t
successful, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t put in tremendous effort. “Please
stay. Harry, please,” he begs. “You can take care of me now, I need you to. I
want  you to, please.”
 He shouldn’t have worried, though, because by the time the word ‘stay’ is out
of his mouth, Harry is busy pulling at Louis’ clothes like they’re doing him a
personal offense by existing. Finally he lets go of Louis’ wrists and slips his
fingers beneath the top of Louis’ jeans on either hip, yanking downwards so
fast that fabric rips and Louis whimpers as his swollen cock is freed and slaps
up against his tummy.
 Harry doesn’t even bother, in his frenzy, to remove Louis’ trousers the rest
of the way. He’s naked from nipple to thigh and that’s enough. He’s dimly aware
as he ducks his head to take one of Louis’ hardened nubs between his teeth that
the boy beneath him is helping him unfasten his jeans.
 Louis does his best to lift his knees and spread his legs for Harry, even if
they’re still tangled up together by his jeans. He opens his mouth to beg for
something, anything, but before he even manages, Harry’s slipping one finger
inside of him and Louis lets out a sigh of relief instead. Harry hums something
that sounds more like a growl. “Your body is so ready for me, isn’t it? Is this
what you’re like when you’re in heat? So eager for me, because I’m an alpha
now?”
 “Always eager for you,” Louis slurs in his rush to reply. “More, please,
more.”
 He could tease Louis, could drag this whole thing out to enjoy this
whimpering, clinging state that Louis only lets loose when he’s in heat, but
Harry’s blood is singing and he’d rather just give in. He sinks in a second
finger, then a third when Louis’ body still offers no resistance. Louis’
breathing is shallow and his grip on the carpet tight as Harry throws his legs
over his shoulder and kisses down the back of his thigh, fingers crooking up
against his prostate. “You don’t even need me to open you up,” Harry moans in
amazement. “You’re already ready just from wanting me.”
 “Harry, I always wa-” Louis interrupts his own words with a gasp as he comes,
hips jerking up off the carpet and streaks of white decorating his torso. Harry
stays still through it, letting Louis writhe down onto his fingers and chase
sensation. Louis is sated for a grand total of ten seconds before opening his
eyes to plead, “Bed? Please?”
 “Clothes off first,” Harry answers with a nod, hurrying to complete the half-
assed job he’d done earlier of getting the two of them naked. As soon as their
clothes have been shed, though, he picks Louis up like he weighs no more than a
child and holds him to his chest as Louis wraps his legs around Harry’s waist.
His mouth is at Harry’s throat, sucking a bruise there with a kind of fervor
that reminds Harry that Louis is quite possibly out of his head with need.
 It only makes him carry them to the bedroom quicker. “What do you need,
Louis?” he asks urgently. “Wanna take care of you. What do you need?”
 “Need you inside of me,” Louis answers at once. “Please, fuck, I just need you
inside of me. I’m gonna burn up, Harry.” He feels like it, too, skin sizzling
wherever he’s touching Harry, hair starting to get matted from sweat. “Fuck me,
Harry,  please-”
 “Yes, baby, yes. I’m gonna take care of you.” Harry tosses Louis on the bed
and takes exactly half a second to marvel at how his thighs immediately fall
open in invitation before crawling between them. “I’m going to give you
whatever you need, Lou.” He holds himself up on one hand, grabs Louis’ hip in
the other, and slides inside of him to the sound of their matching moans.
 Louis’ got his head thrown back on the pillow, looking so far gone that
Harry’s actually surprised when he starts speaking coherently. “It never
mattered that you weren’t an alpha,” he whimpered. “Whenever it was Zayn, I
always wanted it to be you, Harry, fuck!”
 He quiets as Harry starts going faster, which makes it more convenient for
Harry to lean down and kiss him hard without disrupting his rhythm. “You know
it killed me, right? Knowing there was something Zayn got to do for you that I
couldn’t? We aren’t even together, but I wanted to be  everything  you needed.”
 Louis chokes on a little cry as Harry finds a good angle, hands scrabbling for
pieces of Harry to grab onto, and tries to open his eyes to look up at him.
“You are, you can now, please, you’re everything,” he babbled. “I’ll be so good
for you, Harry, I promise I’ll be so, so good for you, please!”
 Now he actually  is  crying, one little tear leaking out of the corner of his
eye, and Harry kisses it away at once. “Shh, baby, I know. I know you will.
It’s okay, I’ve got you,” he murmurs. His hand leaves Louis’ hip to wrap around
his cock as a means of distraction, and he’s surprised to find it hard again
already. “You gonna come for me again?”
 Louis comes again like it’s on command, body struggling beneath Harry for some
kind of purchase so he could thrust up into the hand and whimpers when he can
find none. Harry swallows his surprise and works his fist up and down instead,
guiding Louis through his second orgasm in ten minutes as Louis just pants and
licks at his drying lips.
 “You came again for me,” he says in wonderment when Louis seems to be
breathing once more.
 “I’ll come as many times as you want me to, just please don’t stop,” Louis
begs. “Don’t stop touching me, Harry, I can come again, I promise.”
 “N-now? Already?” Sure enough, Louis’ already fattening up again in Harry’s
palm, a sensation that has him grinning from ear to ear. “How many times have
you come in one go, with Zayn?  Have you come three times before?”
 “Four, actually,” Louis says, and has his third orgasm less than a minute
after the second.
 Enthusiasm pouring from Louis notwithstanding, Harry makes himself release his
cock as soon as the aftershocks fade and back off his punishing pace just a
little. It feels like Louis’ going to crack down the middle and fall apart,
he’s got so much need inside of him, like his next orgasm might cause his heart
to give out right then and there. “I can’t believe Zayn got this privilege for
a year,” he murmurs into Louis’ throat, tongue darting out to taste the salty
sweetness of his skin. “I can’t believe he got to see you so vulnerable and
open, to kiss your pretty mouth and watch you come over and over again.”
 Louis has one leg crooked around Harry’s hip, pushing at his bum with the heel
of his foot in an effort to make Harry move inside him faster, but absently,
like even in his haze he knows that Harry is in charge right now and he’ll get
only as much as Harry decides to give him. “Never kissed me,” he slurs.
 “What?” Harry’s head pops up to look at Louis in confusion. It’s a foreign
concept to him; who on earth could look at Louis so wrecked and  not  kiss him?
“What do you mean he never kissed you?”
 “Told him not to. Harry, please, faster?”
 Harry obliges like autopilot. “Why did you tell him not to?”
 It appears to take a tremendous amount of effort, given that Harry’s on his
prostate with every stroke, but Louis opens his eyes and looks right into
Harry’s. “Didn’t want him to. Didn’t want to kiss anyone but you.”
 The sudden desire to kiss the lips right off of that beautiful face is
overwhelmed as soon as it appears by a near-painful twist in Harry’s gut. It’s
sort of like an orgasm feels, almost, but instead of a burst of pleasure his
head goes fuzzy and the push of his hips feel different. “Wha- what’s
happening?” he asks no one in particular.
 But Louis answers with a gasp and digs his nails into Harry’s back in an
effort to pull him further inside. “You’re knotting,” he says urgently. “Oh,
fuck, you’re knotting.”
 It makes sense, then, when Harry looks down, to see that the base of his cock
is starting to swell, pressing against Louis’ entrance and growing by the
second. “Oh. What do I-?”
 “Please, Harry, inside me, inside me, I need it,  please-”
 There’s an edge of panic to Louis’ voice and it snaps Harry right back into
focus. He slips one arm beneath Louis to hold him close and kisses away the
fear in his voice. “I’ve got you, baby,” he promises firmly. “I’ll take care of
you. I promise you I will.”
 He pushes his hips forward firmly and for a second he thinks that he’s fucked
up and is too late, because there’s no way that Louis’ body could accept
something so large inside of him- but then there’s a jolt as the widest part of
his knot pushes into Louis and he slams inside. Louis shouts and holds onto
Harry so tightly he probably draws blood, but Harry doesn’t care. His knot is
fully inflated, tucked inside Louis, exactly where it’s needed, and Louis is
clenching around it, and Harry is coming harder than he ever has before. The
sensation doesn’t stop, either, orgasm dragging out endlessly as he continues
to pulse cum into Louis’ body.
 Louis’ little whimpers draw his attention back to reality, and he growls a
little before he can remember to speak using actual English. “This what you
needed?”
 “Yes, thank you, fuck, thank you,” Louis pants, and Harry notices for the
first time that Louis’ slipped a hand between them and is working his cock
through yet another orgasm. “You feel so- so fucking good, Harry. God, I
fucking needed that. I need your knot. I needed all of you.”
 It’s a little disorienting, to be locked inside Louis and still leaking out
cum as he starts to come down from his high, but at least he can still enjoy
the sight and the sound of Louis even if he can’t really move inside of him. He
reaches up one hand- when did his arms get so rubbery and weak?- and pulls
Louis’ mouth to his own. “Promised I would take care of you.”
 “You’re so good to me,” Louis sighs, and it’s the calmest thing he’s said all
night. It’s like Harry’s knot was a sedative, or maybe a bucket of ice water
judging by the way his skin is cooling rapidly. His limbs are relaxing one by
one, arms flopping onto the mattress and legs leaning against Harry as the
urgency and desperation leave him by degrees.
 His cock is still half hard, though, Harry notices, probably because every
time Harry comes a little more his hips twitch and he’s rubbing right up
against the poor boy’s prostate. “This is incredible,” he says simply.  “You’re
incredible. I’ve never seen anything like you.”
 “Tell me that again after I’ve asked you to do this ten times a day for the
next three days,” Louis mumbles with a sleepy smile.
 Harry grinds into him as much as he can, like his ability to please Louis now
reflects on his ability to do it over and over again throughout the entire
heat, and he’s at least rewarded with Louis whimpering and his cock struggling
to attention once more. “I think I can manage,” he says smugly.
 Louis flops one hand to cover his pounding heart, and smiles when Harry rests
one of his own on top. “I was praying that you’d be an alpha. I don’t even know
if there’s a god, but I was praying you would be.”
 “I didn’t let myself hope,” Harry confesses in a whisper. How many times in
the past year has he imagined it? Countless dreams that played out just like
this, with him finally being able to take care of Louis like he wanted to. But
he never let himself think about it during waking hours. The hope was too
strong, more than strong enough to kill a man.
 It kind of makes him feel a little choked up now, so instead he looks down at
Louis’ cock. “You said you came four times with Zayn, right?” he asks, snaking
a hand down between their thighs to tease at Louis’ rim where it stretches
impossibly wide around Harry’s knot. He feels the muscles flutter, watches a
drop of pre-cum leak from Louis’ tip. “How about one more? Can you give me
five, baby?”
 For a second Louis hesitates, like he isn’t sure at all if he can manage it,
but then a smirk crosses his face and he settles his head back fully on the
pillows. “Well go on, then, mister alpha, earn your fifth.”
 He’s back to being regular old Louis again, in this reprieve from the
desperation of heat, and that, more than anything, is what makes Harry want to
tease this last one out of him. He ignores the beautiful cock completely,
spending long minutes massaging at Louis’ rim and kissing him senseless until
Louis’ breath catches in his throat and after one frozen moment he comes again,
relieved sigh spilling from his lips as he clenches around Harry’s deflating
knot.
 Finally Harry can pull out, and he pushes himself right off the bed to go in
search of something to clean them off with because he has the distinct feeling
that as soon as he collapses on a soft bed he’s not going to want to get up
again for a while. Louis actually rolls his eyes when Harry returns and starts
trying to clean off Louis’ body. “You’re wasting your time,” he says drowsily.
“I won’t be clean for three days at least.”
 “Shut up, I’m taking care of you.”
 “Mmm, so authoritative,” teases Louis as Harry finishes his attempt and flops
down next to him on the bed. It doesn’t stop him from curling right into
Harry’s side though, tiny but not quite delicate, like the spitfire that he is.
He’s too blissed out to be venomous, anyways. “Guess I should be grateful my
alpha takes such good care of me.”
 “I’m  an  alpha, not  your  alpha,” Harry corrects automatically. “I don’t
think you’re supposed to call me yours unless we’ve bonded.”
 Louis’ whole body tenses up. “Right. Guess you could go out and fuck whoever
you wanted, really.”
 “That’s not what I meant, Lou.”
 “No, no, I understand completely,” Louis fires back, moving away from Harry
and shoving at him when he attempts to follow. “Excuse the fuck out of me for
trying to claim something that isn’t mine.”
 “Stop,” Harry says in frustration, trying to pull Louis back in. “That’s not-
Louis,  stop!”
 It’s his alpha voice again, and Louis freezes at once. His eyes are furious
though, looking up at Harry. “Don’t you dare.”
 “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to do that.” Guilt floods through Harry instantly,
and he nuzzles into Louis’ shoulder apologetically. “I swear I didn’t mean to.
Can you just- can you just hold on for a second, though? I didn’t mean that I
didn’t want you. Just- we haven’t talked about that. Bonding. Mating. I just
found out I was an alpha like an hour ago.”
 “I thought it was kind of a foregone conclusion,” Louis mumbles, at least a
little more relaxed.
 “I didn’t want to assume. You never said you wanted to be my mate, so.”
 There are tears in Louis’ eyes but he hides them well by huffing in
frustration. “You’re fucking stupid sometimes, you know that? Why the fuck do
you think I told Zayn not to kiss me? Why do I spend every waking moment I’m
not in heat with you? Why have I spent the last  year  all but making virginal
sacrifices to anyone who’ll listen in hopes that you’d turn out to be alpha?
I’m fucking in love with you, idiot.”
 “You- you’re what?” Harry asks dazedly.
 “I’m  in love with you.  Like proper, be-with-me-forever love. Bond with me
love. Mate me love,” Louis clarifies miserably. “Have you seriously not noticed
that?”
 Harry has to open and close his mouth wordlessly a few times before he can
swallow, hard, and answer. “Um. I guess I was too busy being miserable about
the fact that you couldn’t love me to notice that you were in love with me.”
 Louis looks at him and sniffles. “Well you’re really stupid.”
 “Apparently, yeah.”
 He accepts the kiss Harry gives him ever-so-gently, then smiles a very tiny
bit. “I’ll be nice, then, and spell the rest out for you. I’ve been in love
with you for like, forever, and I’ve wanted to spend my life with you before we
even knew we were alpha and omega. Now that we do, though, I want to be your
mate. And maybe have your babies someday. We can talk about that.”
 Harry gets a shit-eating grin on his face that he can’t get rid of. “You’re
serious. You really want to be my mate?”
 “If you doubt my confessions of love one more time I swear to god-”
 “Okay,” Harry says quickly, pulling Louis to him and smothering his words with
a kiss. “Okay, okay, I hear you. I believe you. Jesus. I love you too, Louis,
I’m just so… Jesus.”
 “Does that mean you’ll mate me?” asks Louis hopefully, eyebrows raised. “So I
can call you my alpha without getting shot down?”
 “Just say when and I’m yours,” Harry breathes.
 “Now?”
 “Wait- like  now  now?”
 Louis shrugs, but he can’t pull off a look casual enough to hide his blush. “I
can’t think of anything I want more than to be bonded to you. So unless you
have plans this afternoon or something…”
 He’s being a sassy little shit. Harry adores him. Suddenly it’s like the world
focuses in on the place where Louis’ shoulder curves into his neck, so soft and
supple and inviting. Harry leans into it and presses a kiss to the skin, rests
his teeth against it like a test. He can feel the blood rushing underneath as
Louis’ heart pounds away. One bite would be all it would take, and Louis would
be his,  only  his, forever.
 “Harry,” whispers Louis. “Please.”
 With a tremendous amount of willpower, Harry pulls back and shakes his head
weakly. “Not when you’re in heat,” he says quietly. “I don’t want it to be when
our hormones are flowing and everything’s crazy. This is too important.”
 “The way that I feel about you isn’t going to change when my hormones settle
down.”
 “I know. Me neither. I just- I just want it that way. Okay?”
 Louis closes his eyes and nods, then wiggles ever closer to lay his head on
Harry’s chest. “Just say when,” he echoes Harry, “and I’m yours.”
 …………………
 The other boys take the news of Harry’s alpha status in stride, considering
that news comes via phone call late at night when Louis stops to consider that
unless they spread the word they’re going to be getting an interruption from
Zayn sometime in the morning. They call him first, and Harry can almost hear
the startled blinking through the phone.
 “You’re  sure  you’re an alpha?” he asks dumbly.
 “Well I’ve already knotted him like six times, so. Seven,” he corrects when
Louis mumbles the number in his ear.
 “Right. Well in that case, congratulations man. You’re sure you’ve got Louis?
If you need anything, like, I dunno, anything alpha-y explained, you know you
can call me, yeah?”
 “Thank god,” Liam’s teasing voice is saying over top of him, raised so that he
can be heard through the line as well. “I want to marry Zayn at some point and
I didn’t want to plan our wedding around that little twat’s heat.”
 “I’m still gonna be your bloody best man, so you’d better work around it
anyways, you dick,” Louis shouts at once, and Harry ends the call with a laugh
and rolls on top of Louis for round eight before the two of them start world
war three.
 It takes almost six months for them to decide they’re ready to mate, which is
almost entirely Harry’s decision. He has these ridiculous notions about having
to prove himself, to show everyone that just because he’s a brand new alpha
doesn’t mean he isn’t capable of taking care of every single one of Louis’
needs.
 Which he does, without a doubt. It’s not even just the sexual needs, though
Harry has carried him through every heat flawlessly and without complaint and
makes it through his own ruts while still paying painstaking attention to
making sure Louis is alright. It’s about the way that Harry looks out for him,
and cares for him, and puts up with him when he’s being the world’s most
insufferable twat. It’s about how he once pushed another alpha into a
storefront window for grabbing at Louis pre-heat, and then kissed Louis’ face
all over and apologized for startling him like the absolute cupcake he was.
 It’s about the normal everyday things, too, how Harry delights in just making
Louis  smile.  He especially loves being able to save up money from his shitty
bakery job and take Louis out to nice restaurants like this one, where they can
order tiny appetizers and tinier entrees that come pre-matched with wines and
desserts based on how they agree on your palate or something like that. They
skip on the wine tonight, though; they both agree that no matter how special of
an occasion this was, they both wanted to be sober and in control.
 Tonight was the night they were going to become mates.
 “We should probably skip on the dessert, too,” Louis says offhandedly when
they’ve both scraped their forks across the fine china in an effort to scrounge
up the last crumbs- and to annoy the other patrons, if they’re being honest.
 “Is my boyfriend actually saying no to sweets?” teases Harry. “Is the world
coming to an end, or is this all some sort of fever dream?”
 Louis leans forward with a sparkle in his eyes so unabashedly flirtatious that
it’s hard to believe that he’s completely sober. “Wanna save room. I was
planning on giving you a celebratory blow job tonight, and that’s a lot to be
swallowing.
 Harry hails for the check.
 As per usual, it takes about fifteen seconds from the time that they’re back
in their flat to the time they’re all over each other, but this time it’s
different. This time they’re nervous, tentative like they haven’t been in the
two years since they first were brave enough to start discovering each other’s
bodies. It isn’t the touches that they’re nervous about though, they both know
that. It’s the promise of how things are going to be different after tonight
that makes their hands shake.
 “You want to have sex first?” Harry asks in a mumble, wildly unsure. “I could
bite you during? Or- I mean, I don’t really know how this works, but.”
 Louis shakes his head. “I’m kind of just ready to be your mate already.”
 “Just kind of? If you’re not sure, we should probably wait,” Harry teases, and
laughs out loud at the sudden exasperation that takes over Louis’ face. “I’m
kidding, I’m kidding, don’t hurt me,” he giggles, then swallows as the gravity
of the moment resettles over him. “Okay . We’ll do it now, then. Um, sit down
on the couch, yeah? No, actually, on my lap.”
 He sits on the couch, his back leaning up against one arm of it, and waits for
Louis to settle sideways in his lap so that both of his legs are slung over the
side and the hand closest to Harry can play with his curls. They sit like this
a lot, Louis too proud to admit he wants to be cuddled and Harry too taken to
pretend he wants to look at the telly instead of Louis. Now, though, they stare
openly at one another, nervousness spilling into little giggles, and they feel
like kids again.
 Harry gives it a minute and then leans forward to kiss Louis deeply but
softly. “I love you more than anything in the world,” he whispers seriously,
“and I wouldn’t want to spend the rest of my life with anyone else.” He’s got
one hand on Louis’ back, the other on his knee, cradling him close.
 “I love you more, and for longer,” Louis mumbles back, his hands holding onto
curls and Harry’s shirt.
 “It’s not a competition, Lou,” grins Harry.
 “I know. I’m just saying if it were, I would win.”
 Harry moves his hand from Louis’ knee to his neck and tilts his head back,
resting his mouth against Louis’ throat, and presses one little kiss there.
“You’re ridiculous,” he whispers. “I’m so happy you’re mine.”
 And with that he opens his mouth and bites down on the crook of Louis’ neck.
He can feel the catch of Louis’ breath, feel the skin breaking a little beneath
his skin, and then a zing of electricity races up his spine and sparks in his
brain for just a second. Louis must feel it too, because he’s cradling Harry’s
head to him with both hands and whispering a nearly inaudible mantra of  you’re
mine, you’re mine, you’re mine.
 “I thought Zayn said it was supposed to feel like an earthquake,” Louis asks
breathily when Harry pulls back. “Shows what that twat knows.”
 “Yeah, well, we’re basically already mates already,” Harry says wisely, a grin
all over his face. “The earth isn’t going to shake at that revelation.”
 Louis sighs in relief. “And now we  are  mates, properly. Finally. I thought
you were going to make me marry you or something first.”
 “We don’t need no paper,” Harry fires back. “I’m already yours. I already have
all I ever wanted.”
 Maybe it’s too sappy for Louis’ boisterous heart to handle, because he just
pretends he never heard it. “So now that you’re  my  alpha and all, I was
wondering…”
 “Hmm?”
 “How about that blowjob?”
End Notes
     This was so much fucking fun to write- or rather, to sit there with
     my hands on the keyboard and let it write itself. Dedicated to
     freakfreee on tumblr!
     This was somewhat born out of my obsession with the difference
     between wanting and needing. I think about that a lot- when you need
     something, it's powerful, but you don't have a choice. We need all
     kinds of things that we'd rather go without. To want something
     though... isn't it more powerful? To say that you desire something no
     matter whether it's good for you, no matter whether you can even have
     it? That seems a lot bigger than need, to me.
     Oh and yes, that title is a sneaky reference to Harry's tattoos ;)
     canonlarry | tumblr
Please drop_by_the_archive_and_comment to let the author know if you enjoyed
their work!
